Welcome to Working Title

  BY: Stephen Caldwell

            You and I are most likely both humans - which is to say that we both enjoy going to parties. Seriously, everyone truly loves people, and it's no secret. Think about people who live completely alone. Those humans in the woods (I'm looking at you Thoreau) with nothing but their thoughts for companions. THINK ABOUT IT. Undoubtedly, whatever you just thought of (if anything, despite a couple very forward prompts) had something to do with confusion and sadness. Truly, there are those of us which are oft found muttering "uh, people!" and other dreary incantations, in an even MORE dreary attempt to assuage an even more, EXTRA-dreary sense of pain. I concede that living amongst humans has some serious down sides, but on the whole we don't usually kill humans, eat humans, or defecate on humans. Animals cannot say the same thing. Clearly, this is what separates "Us and Them" as Pink Floyd alluded to so many years back. If you are utterly daft, or simply not reading carefully, I should let you know that I am joking. Repeat, I do not think that the aforementioned traits are our "special-ness."

            So, what makes humans so perfectly kick-ass?

            I simply couldn't begin to locate what makes humans so remarkable. In trying to allay this to you (my super-cool blog reader) - I would start writing vast, amorphous sentences - YOU would start thinking, "What is he talking about?" - and then I, in an attempt to bring some concrete details to my writing would most likely start writing about space. Yes. Truly, nothing is as collectively awesome and boring as space.

            So, what will I do?

            I will bring together, along with my comrades, a blog that really makes you feel good. That's not necessarily our purpose, of course; but we are trying to be informative and cool, and super-hip (writing a blog is naturally "hip" if you don't already know) It is my ambitious goal; however, to create the following scenario: You will be sitting behind your computer screen laughing so hard you will publicly defecate. You will initially be appalled with yourself, feeling like an animal. You will then remember my words on this beautiful life. Then finally, you will sling feces at all the people around you, having more fun than you could ever remember.